What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

HELLO

{RING} {RING}

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

What are some tips for a girl with low self-esteem to start dating?

Sure no problem officer.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Is crossdressing being a transvestite?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

After a few moments he returns.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Should we consider deporting democrats to Canada?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

My religion teacher said that there are no atheists because in order to reject God, you must first have a concept of God, and if you have a concept of God, you are not an atheist. In what way is this true, if at all? Why?

Yes sir it is.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

How do you say "I don't speak Italian yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn Italian with you. Would you like to teach me Italian?" in Italian?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.